Iron Man 3 - Babes with Big Bombs are the Best

Since this is the third installment of the Iron Man franchise we know the characters. Robert Downey Jr. still has his swagger and wise cracks. Gwyneth Paltrow looks a bit more corporate but still impeccably appointed (I think she is taller). Don Cheadle has been upgraded with his own Iron Man suit. Jon Favreau does not direct this film but he brings back his role as Happy Hogan. He is no longer the chauffeur but is head of security at the Stark building with a badge fetish. He has a minor role but he brings good humor.  

      

The main villain is the Mandarin, played with much relish by Sir Ben Kingsley. He looks like a ghetto version of Emperor Ming from Flash Gordon. He has a non-descript Western accent (so sorry Charlie Chan) which does not go with the outfit.  Guy Pierce is a bio chemist industrialist whose products are dubious. He has great hair but a real hot head. There is also a young kid, Ty Simpkins, who becomes Downey’s sidekick and is a bit of a mechanical prodigy himself. From their performances it is obvious that these actors had a lot of fun doing the movie. Their joy will grow as the box office soars.

As expected there is a lot of action. There are explosions, assassinations and destruction from the Mandarin. In this movie there is not one Iron Man but a whole score of them (robots for the most part). Even Paltrow suits up; she looks like an extra from Tron.  In many scenes Tony is not in his suit and to fight the bad guys he improvises weapons from Home Depot. Most of the action involved fighting, with and without suits. There was an amazing aerial stunt that was quite impressive.

The script is simple. Its purpose is to manage the mayhem. There is not much plot development. The focus is on the bad guy and his unique weapon and Tony trying to stop him (I hope I did not give too much away). There is one sub plot so poorly woven into the script that it looks like a cheap patch. Action movies can be kinetic and also have a rich story like the Dark Knight or Star Trek (the movie).

Should you see it; sure. Since this is a guy movie plots are no obstacles as long as there are guns, babes and bombs (babes with big bombs are the best). Since this movie is critic proof I am sure my words just bounced off Iron Man. I might mellow by Iron Man 4.

Pain and Gain - I Hope I Forget Rebel Wilson's Sex Scene

Pain & Gain

This was not a funny movie; deceptive advertising at work again. There were a few funny bits mostly delivered by Rebel Wilson. This is a true story about three body builders who commit some heinous crimes. These numb nuts are dumber than dirty. Mark Walberg, Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson and Antony Mackie are the body builders. These guys were seriously jacked. The Rock was so huge his tattoos almost faded away. Walberg looked like he was made out of rolls of baloney and could not put his arms down by his sides.

Walberg is the leader of this band of fools. He is the “Doer” as opposed to the “DoNotDoer”. Walberg picks up this mantra from Ken Jeong (the nasty Asian guy in the Hangover movies) who plays a dubious motivational speaker. So in his peanut brain Walberg plots a money making scheme that of course goes horribly wrong. The movie is series of missteps that somehow these idiots manage temporally work out but invariably fall apart.

The Rock is a recently released Jesus loving convict. His contribution to the gang was not only his muscles but his willingness to do dumb violent things.  The Rock gives a very good performance. In the course of the movie he transforms from a God fearing gentle ex-con to a paranoid coke addict.  It took some acting skill to do this. The whole cast did a great job. Walberg channeled his Markie Mark persona. Tony Schalhoub played the Colombian Jew role spewing rudeness and nastiness (anti Monk). Antony Mackie played a good third wheel and his contribution to violence was well received. Ed Harris had a small but important as the PI. He wore his usual cool confident facade on his thin frame. Rebel Wilson played herself. As mentioned there is not much comedy but she delivers some much needed laughs. Rebel is in a sex scene which I hope, God willing, I will forget someday.

This is a Michael Bay movie, which means the movie is formula driven. There are the cars crashes, steroid laced jocks, cigarette boats, explosions and of course live Barbies.  Yes, the Barbies were filled with silicon but they left a good impression.

See the movie. It is worth seeing the real bad guys in the ending credits. Yeah, they still look dumb.

Trance

Trance

Trance is a who done it with a lot of who’s. James McAvoy is an auctioneer who steals a Goya and is in cahoots with the gang staging the robbery. He betrays his fellow thieves by stealing the painting and hiding it. In an attempt to flee he is knocked unconscious with a rifle butt from one of the gang members. He loses his memory and cannot recall where he hid the painting. The movie resolves around him trying to regain his memory. The gang leader is Vincent Cassell (he is the bad French guy from Ocean’s Eleven). He and three other accomplices torture and beat up McAvoy to try to get him to talk, but his amnesia is intractable. Frustrated with their efforts Cassell decides to use a hypnotist. Rosario Dawson is the hypnotist who helps McAvoy to regain his memory. Unfortunately other memories surface besides the location of the lost Goya.

What is remembered changes the plot. Bad guys get shuffled around. This is when the plot gets muddled. It is a bit more confusing than surprising. McAvoy’s change of persona is a bit disconcerting.  Rosario Dawson was a combination of steel and beauty. She plays a pivotal role but her sex appeal is a ruse.

Vincent Cassell plays to type. He plays the bad guy well, but with a sameness that we have seen before. The ensemble of actors works well with each and I would not discourage you from seeing this movie. Some parts of the movie are violent and pretty graphic. Also if you strongly object to female frontal nudity, this is not your movie. As for me I am OK with it.

Spring Breakers - Corn Dogs in his Hair

Spring Breakers

This was a scary movie. It was not the gratuitous T&A movie I expected. However, there were lots of T&A and enough six packs to stock a bodega. This movie was every parent’s night mare of spring break. The debauchery was epic. Guys were snorting blow from a girl’s belly button. Other guys were pouring beer from their crouch into the open mouth of girls between their legs. There was also the classic metaphor of a girl sticking a gun barrel in her mouth. One young woman was blitzed and half wearing a bikini  in a room with five guys wearing nothing but jock straps. Gee what could go wrong?

The four chicks in the movie were desperate to go on spring break. They were at some nondescript college in a nowhere town. They did not have enough money go so they resorted to extreme violence (that would serve them well later in the movie) to get the money. The goody-goody, Salina Gomez, aka Faith, did not participate in the money scheme.

They arrived in St. Petersburg Florida, which they though was heaven. Long story short they wind up in jail and Alien, played by that human chameleon James Franco, bails them out. Franco looks like a bleached out Snoop Dog. He has a shiny grill in his mouth, corn dogs in his hair and lots of bling. He is a gun totting drug dealer and wanna be rapper with a white baby grand piano by the pool and sings Brittney Spear songs. Obviously he is not from the Bronx.

Alien comes on to Faith. She is the youngest of the group but has the good sense to want to go home. She leaves her girlfriends behind who become Alien’s posse. At this point the movie splits. The first part had some redeeming value as a pseudo morality play but then it spirals into a kind of violent video game. The girls are transformed; neither money nor drugs excite them. Violence is their drug. A surreal episode was when the girls went to a gun fight wearing electric yellow string bikinis (do they make Kevlar bikinis?), pink baklavas, sneakers and clutching Tek9’s. At this point the movie became a cartoon.

The movie was not what I expected; still it was not entirely disappointing. I never experienced spring break and from this movie I am not sure if it was a good thing or a bad thing. See the movie and judge for yourself.

Oz, the Great and Powerful - The Thin Man? Really???

It is not a terrible movie or a great movie, it is a Disney movie. It is signature Disney with a lot of happiness sprinkled with some evil touches to keep the audience awake. This a prequel to the original Wizard of Oz. The main character Oscar Diggs (aka Oz) is transported to the Land of pre Oz, meets three witches and has a great battle to secure a sequel to the prequel.

Acting in this movie was not a push. If over acting was a currency James Franco would be a millionaire. For the three witches, Mila Kunes, Rachel Weisz and Michelle Williams, their acting is unremarkable, and almost interchangeable, but they look really good doing it. The battles between good and evil are spectacular and are fun to watch.

Regrettably there was not much humor in this movie. The camaraderie of the Scarecrow, Thin Man and Cowardly Lion is sorely missed. It is difficult to imitate a classic without duplicating it. This Oz does not do it.

See this movie if you are into fantasy or nostalgic for the original Oz. As for the audience this movie is a bit scary (it’s those dam flying monkeys) so kids should be older than twelve years old, except kids from the Bronx older than five is OK.

The Call - It Make Life Interesting

For a B movie The Call is very good. But before I continue, what the hell is with Halle Berry’s hair in this film? It looks like a Chiba Pet is growing out of her head. From here the review gets better.

The genre is familiar. Bad guy kidnaps a young girl, shoves her in the trunk of a car and a police chase ensues.  There are similarities to Silence of the Lambs, but more in tone than a rip off. The unique parts are interesting enough to hold your attention. The movie maintains tension which is essential to a suspense film. Berry is a 911 operator who deals with a cell call from a young girl, Abigail Breslin, who is girl in the trunk. There is some blood and gore, but nothing that would interest Quentin Tarantino.

All three principal actors give serviceable performances. Halle Berry does not over do the nervous operator type. There are some far fetched scenes, but they do not spoil the film. Little Miss Sunshine goes to the dark side, and she seems to like it there. I was skeptical of her performance but her character’s transition is well done.  Michael Eklund plays the creepy kidnapper who has enough film time to give a strong performance. One aspect of his character even bothered me. I like the ending because I did not expect it; the audience liked it also.

For the most part the critics panned this movie. Don’t always listen to the critics, it make life interesting.

The Master - Jim Jones sans Kool Aid

This is not a date flick. The relationships in the movie are volatile and intense. Love and hate exist in the same space. To appreciate the film you have to separate the story from the acting. The story is loosely based on Scientology founded by L. Ron Hubbard. The film offers snap shots of how the cult operates from the domination by the Master to the cult devotion of his followers.

Joaquin Phoenix (and his character, Freddie Sutton) has more issues than National Geographic. Phoenix’s character is a recent World War II veteran whose future is aimless. Phoenix’s transformation into Sutton is stunning. It is evident Phoenix lost weight for this role; his frame is gaunt and his face is a leathery mask. Sutton is tortured by the past and an uncertain present. He is always on the verge of exploding against friends and foes. This guy is so messed up he cannot even belong to a cult. What dark closet did Phoenix pull this character from?

Philip Seymour Hoffman is the Master. He is Jim Jones sans Kool Aid. Hoffman specializes in playing the deceptively soft spoken domineering character, and here he does it well. His cult is young and evolving. Hoffman uses charm and when needed brutality to advance his cause. Sutton is his blunt instrument.

This was not a comfortable movie. Sutton is distressed and is unable to find peace or belonging. For all his guile, Hoffman is basically a charlatan and he knows it. As for his flock, they are sheep. Some lucky sheep will disco dance and fly jets and others will marry tall women.