Spectre

I have been in Milan for fifteen days and needed a fix, badly. I went to the local cinema and BUENA FORTUNA, Spectre was playing. I bought the ticket and rushed to make the two o’clock show. And, and the movie is in Italian! What the hell! This is an American movie with English stars. After calming down I rationalized this may not be a big deal. Basically, in Bond movies, James kills every one and get laid. Bada Bing Bada Boom.

Let’s put the Monica Bellucci thing to bed. Her screen time was about five minutes and the simulated (not stimulated) sex was about one minute. She is an attractive fifty year old women with fifty year old hands and fifty year old eyes. Any man would be proud to have her on his arm. But time and gravity are unforgiving.

Bond movies still remind me of when I was a kid. The opening credits and music are exciting. This movie does not disappoint. After Sean Connery, I think Daniel Craig is the best Bond. His cold blue eyes, pursed lips and his Walter PPK make him a remorseless killer. The movie is filled with action and Bond continually survives near death situations (Dah). One scene is painful to watch but at least the screaming was in English. The movie has some of the best aerial stunts involving inverted helicopters and wrecked airplanes. There is also the requisite pyrotechnics on a massive scale.  

Ralph Fiennes reprises his role as M and has a more muscular role in this movie. He is in front of the desk shooting bad guys. Ben Whishaw is the mop headed gadget wizard Q, is also targeted by bad guys. The new Bond girl is Lea Seydeoux. She blond and tall and not the sexist Bond girl wearing high heels. She is French with an English veneer making her crinkly. There is a new henchman, Mr. Hinx who is reminiscent of Oddjob, both in bulk and dearth of acting ability. Luckily, Mr. Hinx had no dialogue.

The gadgets were always a big draw for the Bond movies. Aside from the Omega watch which does more than tell time, the new Austin Martin DB 10 is one of the sexiest stars of the show. For fun they include some retro accessories into the car. Regrettably these are the only two gadgets of note.

My biggest regret is not hearing Christoph Waltz's lilting German accent. No dubbing does him justice. He is the villain, Franz Oberhauser, head Spectre and their goal is either world domination or destruction, whichever comes first. Waltz has a clam approach to evil; soft spoken and utterly ruthless. Fighting Spectre is a throwback to the Connery movies. They even reprised the white fluffy Persian cat Blofeld use to stroke.

What I missed most without dialogue are the glib one liners characteristic of these movies. Having seen all twenty three Bond movies I have some idea of the plot sans dialogue. I will be delighted to see it in English to fill in the blanks, big ones. This movie will do big box office and I recommend you see it. As good as this movie is I think Casino Royal is the best of the new Bond movies.

Regrettably my Italian only served me well asking where the location of the bathroom. Mi dispiace!

n.b. In Italian movie theaters they assign seats. I realized this after the show (there were only about 15 people in the theater).

In the middle of the movie they have a five minute intermission. Not knowing any better when the lights went on I dashed to the nearest by emergency exit.