Elysium

Hi, I’m back from vacation.

I wanted to see Elysium because I like sci-fi and this was the same director who did District 9, Neil Blomkamp. I liked District 9 very much. It condemned Apartheid, and the orchestrated evacuation of the “prawns” was symbolic of genocide. I had high expectations for Elysium, which regrettably were not met.

Elysium is a simple story of the have and have not’s.  The movie sets vividly depict the contrast between the two societies. Los Angles of 2154 is all squalor and over populated while Elysium is a giant sleek space station of prosperity spinning above the Earth fiercely protected against any intruders. Aside from the opulent life style no one on Elysium gets sick. They have machines that cure all, from caner to a shot gun blast to the face (yuk!).

Matt Damon is the protagonist. He is a former criminal eking out a living working in a factory that OSHA would have condemned. Damon is wasted here. Any mid weight actor could have carried off this part since action is more important than acting. What was interesting in the movie was the use of Spanish. I didn’t get it at first, but of course this Los Angles. Even Matt gets to speak some Spanish,”Hola me llamo es…Thank God for subtitles.

Jody Foster players the Über bitch as Elysium’s Secretary of State. Foster plays these roles very well, but here she over does it. Her words were like venom spiting from her lips and veins popping on her neck. She got to the point where her character looked cartoonish.

The most entertaining part of the movie was played by the South African actor Sharlto Copley. He played the nebbish administrator in District 9 who in the end was transformed into a prawn. In District 9 he seemed to be five feet two inches weighting about one hundred and two pounds. In Elysium he is a giant! He looks six feet two inches weighing about two hundred and thirty pounds, all muscle.  He beats the crap out of Damon and you can tell he enjoyed his role.

This is a B movie, more worthwhile on DVD. For all its sleekness it lacks gravity.

Pacific Rim

Ladies you can skip this review. This is for the man-child or man-children or whatever.

This movie is homage to those cheesy Godzilla movies cranked out by the Japanese in the 1960’s. Godzilla was some guy in a rubber suite flaying around killing Mothra or destroying office buildings. This movie is a bit of an upgrade influenced by the Manga culture (Japanese comic books). Kaijus monsters, the size of buildings, attack the planet destroying cities bent on world domination. To battle the Kaijus human depend on Jaegers (not the drink) which are robots the size of buildings also. The Jaegers are so large they need two pilots operating the machinery in unison from the inside (just like old Godzilla). It was very silly to see how the pilots maneuvered the Jaegers. For the Jaeger to walk the pilots actually move their legs and to fight they move their arms inside the Jaeger. I guess these guys never heard of hydraulics.

The director Guillermo del Toro, is one of the best Sci Fi/ fantasy directors around. He directed Pan's Labyrinth  and the Hell Boy movies among others. Visually this film is full of action and epic battles. The film is like an expensive version of the cartoon show Dragon Ball. The actors are grade B, which is good enough. A recognizable actor is Charlie Day. This is the dental hygienist  from Horrible Bosses who refused to be sexually ravished by Jennifer Ashton (schmuck). Charlie plays a scientist who is an expert on Kaijus anatomy. Idris Elba is the guy who played the captain in the movie Prometheus and had a go with Charliz Theron (Yes!). He is the very serious chief of the Jaeger operation. He is so stiff he can imitate a 2 x 4. Rinko Kikuchi is the gender breaker female pilot. I have no idea who she is but she is easy on the eyes. Ron Perlman (Hell Boy himself) has a small role as a black marketer in Kaijus carcasses as Aphrodisiacs, yuk?

The film actually has a plot, but I will not to spoil it for you. I am not sure if there will be a Pacific Rim 2. But if you are nostalgic for Godzilla flicks or collected Dragon Ball trading cards go see the movie. This may be the latest in kitsch. 

The Lone Ranger

I try not to read reviews of films I plan to see. Regrettably when I heard about the low opening weekend box office I knew things were bad. This was another Disney home run that went foul. The movie was also guilty of false advertising. The trailer showed exciting scenes with the sense the film was going to be a light hearted buddy movie. Trailer speaks with forked tongue, Kemo Sabe.

Johnny Depp narrates the story as an old Indian in San Francisco in 1933 talking to a nebbish kid with a cowboy hat and mask. Depp is part of a diorama tilted the Noble Savage. It’s kind of weird, is Johnny real or part of the kids imagination. It was not that complicated in Night at the Museum.

The script is a mess. The impression is that the writers made up the story as they went along. It was a car wreck. There was the cannibalistic villain, a homicidal megalomaniac railroad executive, a corrupt whinny cavalry officer, a one legged madame with an ivory scrimshaw left leg prostheses that shoots bullets and the Comanches (or what was left of them). Strangest of all were these razor sharp tooth attack bunny rabbits that had no compunction of eating their own. They were on scene for about ten seconds and served no purpose to the plot. These diverse elements never congealed. This divergence failed the film.

This movie did not have the light hearted spirit of the Pirates of the Caribbean. Evil in Pirates was more suggested. In the Lone Ranger some parts are grim and even too brutal to watch. However, there were a few scenes that made you smile. Johnny Depp’s make up with a dead crow on his head and his deadpan persona is funny. Armie Hammer had a huge white hat the size of a toilet bowel. Even Silver had a few funny scenes (this horse was whiter than Lady Gaga). Johnny and Armie had good chemistry, which was wasted.

Basically the Lone Ranger is a buddy movie. During the movie the buddy and the lead switch. Sometimes Tonto was the sage, at other times he was the comic relief. Arnie was mostly stiff faced and strangely reluctant to shoot the bad guys. This is a Western, everyone ever one gets shot!

The railroad special effects are impressive. Silver running on top of moving railroad cars is exciting. The William Tell Overture made its debut towards end of the movie.  The TV Lone Ranger show only used a few hallmark bars of the overture. The movie played the whole megillah. I guess the bigger the score the bigger the tie in to the legend of the Lone Ranger.

The last time of the Lone Ranger was on TV was about 45 years ago. Enough time has elapsed that the slate is clean (the millennialismists don’t have a clue about history anyway).The producers could have made any movie they wanted, they picked wrong one.

World War Z

World War Z

Brad, dude, we need another zombie movie like we need another Kardashin. For all its sweeping cinematography, worldwide locations and FX this is just another zombie movie. The undead have the same generic traits: bad posture, a jerky spastic gate and a nasty biting habit. Once bit you become a zombie. In this movie it takes 12 seconds to become a zombie, they actually have a countdown, cool. As opposed to other zombies these guys move fast, very fast. They use their bodies like weapons hurling themselves at cars and helicopters. They make a mountain of human bodies which is impressive to see. This is like Johnny on a Pony from hell.

Brad is a retired UN inspector called back because of the zombie crisis. He reluctantly leaves his wife and two daughters and starts his global trek hunting zombies trying to root out the cause of the pandemic. In all the mayhem that ensues he is as always cool and in control. One piece of advice, Brad loose the long hair it’s not the 70’s and it contrasts with your crow’s feet.

This movie is not very scary, there are no flesh eating scenes you see in other zombie films or jumping out of your seat scenes in movies like 24 Hours or I Am Legend. Most of the action was during daylight; so how scary is that? My problem is I do not see what makes this movie unique, what is the hook? There are some leaps of faith in the movie testing its credibility. They had some script problems and had to reshoot some scenes and the band aides are visible.

For a multimillion dollar movie, Brad is the only star with name recognition. I am not familiar with the rest of the cast. Except for the female Israeli soldier, the rest of the cast do not do have significant roles. For good or bad this movie is on Brad’s shoulders. 

The movie is doing well and Brad Pitt is pulling in big audiences. Should you see it, sure it’s a spectacle. Just remember this is not the type of movie your date leaps on to your lap and all the good things that can follow. 

Man of Steel

This is not your father’s Superman (wait that’s me). This is a very exciting and enjoyable movie. It is a classic super hero movie but more dramatic and less cartoonish. The story is action packed and there are interesting character interactions. One theme of the move is “Who am I” and this is played on different levels with Superman as a child and as an adult. Simple can be very effective, especially with good direction.

Henry Cavil, is a Brit as Superman. I think he will be embraced by the audience, more by the women than by men. Besides being a classical actor, this guy is ridiculously buffed. He has balloon muscles; it’s like Popeye was his personal trainer. When Christopher Reeve played Clark Kent he was a bumbler then as Superman he was forthright and boringly serious.  Henry’s persona is consistent and self-assured. I really like the way they handled the early Clark Kent scenes. I am not a fan of flash backs but they were done well here. His parents are Diane Lane and Kevin Costner, not a bad pick. Their roles were brief, but important. Costner did a good job.

I had my doubts about Russell Crowe; he does not strike me as the fatherly type. But he did a great job as Jor-El. His scenes are early in the movie during the destruction of Krypton, but thanks to movie magic he appears in the rest of the film.  Amy Adams is Lois Lane. Her approach to Lois Lane is less obnoxious than Margot Kidder’s but she is still self-confident and pushy. Amy Adams and Superman click in the movie a bit quicker than expected. I do not think that Laurence Fishburne was an effective Perry White. He was too laid back, too Morpheus.

The bad guys were super. General Zod has no conscious and is ruthless. He is devoted to Krypton’s civilization to the point of exterminating the human race for his cause. There is this female solider named Faora ( Antje Traue, a German actress, but of course) who is a nasty piece of work. She is scary hot. The battles are epic. They seriously trash New York City. Bloomberg was in the audience and he was pissed.

Superman’s suit is OK but a bit somber and dark. Some touches of fuchsia would make the suite pop. For most of the film Superman did not wear those ridicules glasses. Here is a guy that can leap tall builds in a single bound and is faster than a speeding Acela and the best he can do for a disguise area pair of black horn rim glasses. Now poor Henry really looks like a Brit. Thankfully he is also missing the jerry curl from his forehead. The fuchsia and the jerry curl would clash.

Fast and Furious 6

This is going to be a difficult review to write. What is different about this movie than the others? Oh yeah, it has the number 6 at the end of the title. Thank God, the opening credits had a retrospective of images from all of the prior Fast and Furious films (except for Tokyo Drift-don’t ask how I knew that). Fast and Furious 6, like the rest of the family, is another testosterone infused movie garnished with lots of T&A. The movie is sophomoric, but eminently watchable.

The acting was unmemorable. A block of granite can emote more emotion than Vin Diesel. His trade make smirk has almost become a tattoo on his face.  As for the Rock, those acting lessons are really paying off. He can talk and flex his pecks at the same time. With their big muscle bound heads the Rock and Vin look identical. Thank goodness for their different acting styles that sets them apart. Ludacris is the brianiac techie who for the most part is humorless. Tyrese gives some much need funny lines to compensate for his pretty face. Michelle Rodrigues reappears in the movie. She is hot, but she looks like she just sucked a lemon with a sour puss. As for the blond guy I have only seen him in FF movies so I really do not know what he can do besides drive cars. The bad guy is a psychopath and I think he was English but he kept his teeth clenched for most of the movie (no glasses either).

As for the script, forgetaboutit. Why do you need a script to chase cars and chicks? This script is just driving instructions to the demolition derby. The movie has the prerequisite street car race, which is the hallmark of the FF movies, in London. They found the one chick who could count to three with long legs and short shorts to start the race. Drag racing in London traffic is like roller blading in Grand Central Terminal at 5pm.

Some shots are fantastic. The stunts are impressive also (real deal and light on the CG). There are some imaginative chases which is the heart of the movie (not all were with cars). As a guy movie this was fun to watch. For all the slights this franchise has made $1.6b and counting. Stick around for the ending credits they are worth watching.

Now You See Me

This movie is fun. It has a Las Vegas feel with fast action, glitter and stunning magic shows. Their illusions are grand and very complicated but not subtle. Compared to The Prestige, a turn of the century movie about rival magicians, whose magic is sublime, Now You See Me is overplayed. What The Prestige did with a rubber ball Now You See Me needed an FX team CG masters. Some of the set ups in Now You See Me rival scenes from Mission Impossible.

Basically this movie is a caper wrapped in magic. There is a main plot and subplots but the stitching is not flawless. We are told the heart of magic is misdirection; divert the audience’s attention. This movie cannot get out of its own way. You get a pretty good idea of who’s who before the movie’s end. The secret of the story leaks out before its culmination.

The cast is wonderful, but no one does a star turn. They all work well together. Jessie Eisenberg has a stylish goatee and coiffed hair but he is still nebbish. Woody Harrelson plays the heavy. He is the mentalist (hypnotist), who uses his ability for one very funny and unexpected scene. Mark Ruffalo is outside his usual placid self and a bit rough. He still must have some of that Hulk juice coursing through his veins. Morgan Freeman could sleep walk through this part, but it is always a pleasure to see him. Then there is Sir Michael Caine, not one of his more memorable roles. He is the mean fat cat with the dough. Michael Caine played in The Prestige so maybe the producers were hoping to tap into his juju.

The movie was shot in Las Vegas, New Orleans, Paris and New York. Visually the film is very appealing. The car chases in New York are impressive, considering the mangled crashes take place where many of us drive.  The finale is shot in Queens in a building used by graffiti artists. It is a real spectacle to see how the building is transformed in a night light show. The location of the building is referred to as the Five Points. The Five Points is located downtown Manhattan near Chinatown not in Queens. Another failed attempted at misdirection.