Star Wars: The Force Awakens

Star Wars: The Force Awakens

It was like seeing old friends again, human and non-human. This film is very nostalgic, it harkens back to the first Star Wars film in 1977 (which I saw eleven times). There are numerous similarities between the two films. The same X wing star fighters are used, the Millennium Falcon was dusted off, and even the rebel attack formations were copied.  Jumping to light speed was choreographed in the same manner as before and the Death Star was super-sized. This connection between this film and the original Star Wars legitimizes J.J. Abrams and films to follow.

Han Solo and Chewbacca made the scene. Harrison Ford showed the effect of thirty eight years on his grizzled face. Chewie on the other hand looked marvelous, no grey fur anywhere. Princes Leia was de-bund and is now a general; rehab worked wonders. The dear old droids made cameo appearances.

 There are new characters. Finn, the ex-Stormtrooper now rebel, Rey (female) the scavenger, Poe the new ace pilot and the scene stealing rolli polli droid, BB-8 (destined to be the number one Christmas toy)  This is the foundation for the franchise going forward. There is a phalanx of bad guys that I cannot talk about.  

I would really like to say something about the plot, but I value my life!

For a fanboy it is a feast for the eyes and ears. The John Williams score soars. For those who have never seen Star Wars (only God knows who they may be), this is still a watchable and entertaining film.

This film is critic proof. In the end this movie is a shameless set up for the sequel (did I say too much?). May the force be with the box office.

The Big Short

Intentionally or unintentionally The Big Short is funny. This could be seen as gallows humor.   The main characters identify the impending collapse of the mortgage market which is refuted by the major financial institutions. The tension of the movie is who will win the bet. Every one over the age of twenty knows the answer. What makes the movie intriguing is how this band of financial savants/misfits, put their firms on the line holding to their convictions while the “experts” deride them.

All the actors were sterling. The main actors are Steve Carell, Christian Bale, Ryan Gosling and Brad Pitt. Christian Bale gives a spectacular performance. He plays Michael Burry a one eyed bare foot doctor who probably has Asperger and listens to heavy metal music to calm himself. Aside from being certifiable he is a financial genius. He sees what others do not see and bets big on it.

Steve Carell plays Mark Baum who is devoid of social skills. Between bouts of depression and anxiety he delivers some of the best humor of the movie relying on his comedic chops. Ryan Gosling is Mr. Slick. Abrasive and fast talking his rudeness is epic. Brad Pitt plays Ben Rickert, the mellow financial mentor. He is too mellow and is nearly wasted for the part.

To explain complex financial concepts the movie employs humorous vignettes. One has Antony Bourdain explaining the mortgage bundling to create derivatives by making a bouillabaisse as an analogy. Another has Selena Gomez explaining synthetic credit default swaps. I think she hurt herself. Jengo blocks were used to illustrate credit ratings (it worked).

This movie is outstanding, too bad it is all true.

Creed

The Rocky franchise has been very lucrative, but how to keep it going? Maybe Walking the Dead Stallone or Dancing With Balboa. Or you can have a very angry illegitimate son of Apollo Creed ascending into the ring. He disdains his father’s reputation, wanting to make his own mark in the boxing world. He changes his last name form Creed to Johnson, but keeps his first name Adonis. Yeah, in South Philly, with that name you better be fast with your fists or fast with your feet.

This film is a melodrama throwing some jabs as a drama. Besides the young romance of little Creed and his girlfriend, Bianca, all the elements of the Rocky formula are present. Long shot dreams, failure, perseverance, blossoming kinship, museum steps and animal carcasses (I lie no dead cows were punched). There are some touching scenes between Rocky and Adonis as their relationship evolves. This is a better movie than the “post” Rocky films, it has the familiar uplifting theme which is the engine of these films. This film is like hot chicken soup on a cold winter’s night, warm and fuzzy.

Stallone was Stallone. With his hound dog eyes and droopy lips he looked like a Muppet. He was still talking with marbles in his mouth and sometimes needed sub-titles. Stallone had more scenes out of the gym which he handled well. The rest of the cast did fine work, but no one broke sweat. Michael B. Jordon, with his Adonis body, grows from a bitter young man to a disciplined boxer capable of respect and love. Tessa Thompson plays Bianca, Creed’s love interest. She is Adrian with dread locks. Phylicia Rashad plays Apollo’s widow who takes in little Creed. She has small functional roles. Hey, after the Cosby show, any work is welcomed.

The big fight takes place in Liverpool England. As usual the fight scenes are a big hit. Antony Bellow is the opponent. Tony is a real prize fighter who has the swollen face to show for it. The boxing choreography is impressive. Towards the end of the film the producers could not retrain themselves and threw in some old Rocky memorabilia. The stars and stripes shorts were reprised and the soaring Rocky anthem heralded the fight.

Given Hollywood’s horrible performance this year this modest film is a shining light (you though I was going to say a knockout). Stay tuned for Creed II.

Spectre

I have been in Milan for fifteen days and needed a fix, badly. I went to the local cinema and BUENA FORTUNA, Spectre was playing. I bought the ticket and rushed to make the two o’clock show. And, and the movie is in Italian! What the hell! This is an American movie with English stars. After calming down I rationalized this may not be a big deal. Basically, in Bond movies, James kills every one and get laid. Bada Bing Bada Boom.

Let’s put the Monica Bellucci thing to bed. Her screen time was about five minutes and the simulated (not stimulated) sex was about one minute. She is an attractive fifty year old women with fifty year old hands and fifty year old eyes. Any man would be proud to have her on his arm. But time and gravity are unforgiving.

Bond movies still remind me of when I was a kid. The opening credits and music are exciting. This movie does not disappoint. After Sean Connery, I think Daniel Craig is the best Bond. His cold blue eyes, pursed lips and his Walter PPK make him a remorseless killer. The movie is filled with action and Bond continually survives near death situations (Dah). One scene is painful to watch but at least the screaming was in English. The movie has some of the best aerial stunts involving inverted helicopters and wrecked airplanes. There is also the requisite pyrotechnics on a massive scale.  

Ralph Fiennes reprises his role as M and has a more muscular role in this movie. He is in front of the desk shooting bad guys. Ben Whishaw is the mop headed gadget wizard Q, is also targeted by bad guys. The new Bond girl is Lea Seydeoux. She blond and tall and not the sexist Bond girl wearing high heels. She is French with an English veneer making her crinkly. There is a new henchman, Mr. Hinx who is reminiscent of Oddjob, both in bulk and dearth of acting ability. Luckily, Mr. Hinx had no dialogue.

The gadgets were always a big draw for the Bond movies. Aside from the Omega watch which does more than tell time, the new Austin Martin DB 10 is one of the sexiest stars of the show. For fun they include some retro accessories into the car. Regrettably these are the only two gadgets of note.

My biggest regret is not hearing Christoph Waltz's lilting German accent. No dubbing does him justice. He is the villain, Franz Oberhauser, head Spectre and their goal is either world domination or destruction, whichever comes first. Waltz has a clam approach to evil; soft spoken and utterly ruthless. Fighting Spectre is a throwback to the Connery movies. They even reprised the white fluffy Persian cat Blofeld use to stroke.

What I missed most without dialogue are the glib one liners characteristic of these movies. Having seen all twenty three Bond movies I have some idea of the plot sans dialogue. I will be delighted to see it in English to fill in the blanks, big ones. This movie will do big box office and I recommend you see it. As good as this movie is I think Casino Royal is the best of the new Bond movies.

Regrettably my Italian only served me well asking where the location of the bathroom. Mi dispiace!

n.b. In Italian movie theaters they assign seats. I realized this after the show (there were only about 15 people in the theater).

In the middle of the movie they have a five minute intermission. Not knowing any better when the lights went on I dashed to the nearest by emergency exit.

The Walk

The Walk

This movie is ridiculous. It is not really a movie but a documentary masquerading as a movie. Philippe Petit, as played by Joseph Gordon-Levitt, narrated the whole movie. In some shots he stands atop the Statue of Liberty’s torch with the Towers as background looking directly at the camera and addressing the audience.

This film has two gimmicks. The first is getting you to spend $21.00 the 3D version of the movie so you can experience all the special effects. The other is to try to induce vertigo from the high wire shots at the top of the towers. This is all done with green screens on sound lots. The effects are good but you know they are simply looking at graphics.

The movie is a biopic about Philippe Petit. Gordon-Levitt plays him like a strutting French cock with kinetic energy looking for the next challenge/high.  He is an e self-promoting egotist. He has no redeeming value and seeks only notoriety. He has an annoying French accent and wears a fright wig. There is nothing appealing about his character, the walk is solely for him.

Ben Kingsley is a father figure and mentor who gives him valuable advice about walking the wire. He has a generic east European accent which Sir Kingsley delivers flawlessly. Charlotte Le Bon is the love interest. She is lovely and she did the role well.

The center piece of the movie is the walk. Gordon-Levitt narrates every step as if he was broadcasting from some news desk. Every leathery foot step is magnified on the screen and the steel wire jutes out in 3D over the audience’s heads. The realism of the shoots from the top of the towers can cause vertigo (fear not, I was fine).

One big plus of the movie is nostalgia. It was great to see the towers in their glory. The walk was done in August 1974 so the Towers were not finished. How he and his crew got to the roof is extraordinary. I am certain these events are true, but this was such an innocent period before our world fell apart on 9 11.

A very strange movie, I cannot recommend it.

The Martian

The Martian

This movie has generated a lot of hype; does it live up to it? In my opinion not all the way. As a Ridely Scott movie it garners a certain level of prestige. He has directed big hits such as Blade Runner and Alien and some foul balls like Robin Hood and Exodus: Gods and Kings. In this nearly three hour, large parts are tedious. The film is a combination of Lost in Space and This Old House. Matt Damon’s character is marooned on Mars and to survive he has to improvise how to make dirt, water, plants and fix broken machinery. At one point he actually uses duct tape (man’s best friend) to fix a broken helmet. Tension in this movie is like a deflated tire and only towards the end is some pressure applied.  

There are big stars in this movie. Supporting Matt Damon are: Jessica Chastain, Kata Mara, Kristien Wiig, Chitwetel Edjiofor, Michael Pena and Jeff Daniels. No one broke any serious drama sweat. They portrayed a steely cold can do NASA attitude. This makes good copy for NOVA but not for drama. Even in life threatening situations Damon’s character is almost placid (recall Tom Hanks in Apollo 13, you could cut tension with a knife). There was light comedy which is a plus. To keep their PG rating they could not say the F word and had to mouth it.

Jessica Chastain was the cool commander who has some key parts towards the end. Kristien Wiig is the relations executive who seemed a bit out of her element. No funnies from her. The rest of the actors were pretty straight forward. Aside from Michal Pena I was not familiar with the rest of the crew. Jeff Danial’s plays the director of NASA as a stiff. He does it really well.

As with his other Ridley Scott films cinematography is rich and spectacular. The graphics were great and the rendering of the Mars’s surface is realistic. I am sure all the NASA paraphernalia is accurate. The duct tape was real.

The last few minutes has the best suspense of the whole movie. No, I will not say what happens. Are the last few minutes’ worth the whole movie? This is not Apollo 13 or even Gravity. The Martian is a feel good can do attitude movie. I know I am swimming against the tide of raves from the critiques with this review, so please make up your own mind as you should always do.

The Man from Uncle

The Man from Uncle

In the early 60’s I use to faithfully watch the TV show The Man from U.N.C.L.E.. It was fun, the gadgets were great, the chicks were plentiful and trying to understand the heavy Russian accented voice of Lllya Kuryakin as uttered by a Scotsman was a challenge. The geopolitics of the Cold War were lost on a thirteen year old boy, but the Russian Missile Crisis scared the crap out of me. 

The movie is set during the hot period of the Cold War. Our boys are trying to stop renegade Nazis’s from making a nuclear bomb. The USA and USSR work together with fingers crossed behind their back. The movie recreates the 60’s feeling with clothes, make up and cars. Most of the action takes place in Italy near Rome. Lots of Italian is spoken in the movie and large yellow subtitles are used, which are unnecessary for us native speakers. 

The 2015 Man from Uncle movie has little to do with the TV show aside from using the same names for the protagonists. Henry Cavell is Napoleon Solo, played by Henry Cavill, who is proto Bond; very debonair and a chick magnet. Amie Hammer plays Lllya Kuryakin. Compared to the original petite T.V. actor, Armie looks like a refrigerator with shoes. Hugh Grant plays Waverly who is the movie’s equivalent of the incomparable Leo C. Carroll. Grant comes in at the tail end of the movie with his patented grin and effortless style. The villainesses is a tall glass of water named the Countessa Victoria Vinciguerra (which in English means “wina the war”). She wore so much eye make, raccoons were jealous. The Countessa looked like Twiggy only forty pounds heavier and twelve inches taller.  The heroine is Alicia Vikander who plays a key role as Gabriella Telller. Teller is cute, smart and the lynch pin of the operation. After many false starts there is a near kiss with the shy Kuryakin (regrettably there is absolutely no sex). In the credits I noticed t David Beckham played the projectionist. I had no idea he was in the movie. Sporting too many tattoos he blended in with wallpaper.

The actors were marvelous together. In the beginning there was that American Russian distrust which evolves into coexistence, but not quite friendship. This movie is hilarious. It is an action/comedy. The audience laughed out loud more than once. The director is Guy Ritchie who has this great talent for mixing violence and comedy (Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels and the Sherlock Holmes films). This is a simple movie with 1960’s sensibilities. It is fun, which is good enough.

Ciao