The Mummy

When there are three writers on a script it is a sure sign the movie sucks, as is the case here. This movie is a mash up of “An American Werewolf in London”, “The Walking Dead” and “The Mummy (with Brendan Frasier)”. It did not have an original bone in its body, with one big exception. This is the first FEMALE MUMMY. The plot points are endless and these numb nuts writers did nothing with it. I could write a better script. To have Sofia Boutella (this is the She assassin, from the “Kingsman, The Secret Service”, with cutlery for legs) stumble around in a grey body suite with Ace bandages dangling from her limbs is a waste.

The acting was insipid. Yes, it was effortless, since no effort was made. In comparison to this schlock Curse’s the “Fourth of July “is great drama. Russell Crowe is in the movie. He is so fat he almost explodes. I think I fell asleep so I am not sure about his character.

There is a generous shot Tom almost naked with a strategically placed cloth. For a man in his fifties he looks great, toned and lean. I know how hard it is to keep an athletic body, so Tom Tom kudos.  

Rotten Tomatoes gave it a score of 15 and the movie has lost $95m. Now that’s scary!

Joey’s Script:

Nicole Kidman is standing on her balcony smoking heroin.

A silver moon bathes the humid night.

Nicole is the Madame of an upscale brothel catering to British royalty and the upper classes.

All the prostitutes are twins.

Lost in an opium haze Kidman does not notice the black fog gathering behind her.

The fog engulfs her.

Skeletal hands with black broken nails emerge from the fog wrapping around Kidman’s chest, pulling her in.

Kidman’s eyes wide open in terror as she is consumed by the fog, but too late.

Sofia Boutella emerges from the balcony wearing in La Perla lingerie and Jimmy Choo pumps holding her asp.  

To be continued…..

Wonder Woman

Wonder Woman         

                                                                                                      June 6, 2017

Gender is a focus of this movie. Undeniably this is a female movie; the female cast (with a few male exceptions), the director even the film projectionist is female. The revenue for this film has been stunning (opening week north of $200m worldwide in the first weekend). Sexual labels aside, is this a film worth seeing?  YES !

The opening scenes in Amazonia, I mean Themyscira, were prosaic, with a little willful Diana being a naughty demi god. Quickly battles ensue and the Amazon warriors are twirling in the air shooting three arrows at a time and making three kills. This is a very impressive marriage of stunt work and CG. Besides Wonder Woman’s many powers (alas I did not see her invisible jet) it is Gal Gadot performance that makes Wonder Woman a creditable super hero. She is heroic, fearless and the best fighter you will see in a leather mini skirt. Being an undocumented demi-god she is a bit naive in the land of men. Her naiveté sets up endearing plot points with her co-star Chris Pine, who plays Steve Trevor. They definably have scene chemistry or this movie would have crash and burned (a hell of a lot better than with Bruce Wayne). Pine plays the role a bit like Captain Kirk from Star Trek, cool, cocky, self-assured but vulnerable with Wonder Woman.

The action shifts from Themyscira to World War I Europe and Wonder Woman is fully engaged in the fighting. At one point, she is a one-woman dynamo advancing the morbid trench line by yards deflecting rounds of bullets and mortar shells just with her shield and bad attitude. Interestingly her posse is all male. There is Steve Trevor, the heart throb; Saïd Taghmaoui as Sameer; master of disguise;  Ewen Bremner as Charlie, the Scottish sharpshooter and Eugene Brave Rock as the Indian Chief. Their comradery is infectious and they use their skills to fight Germain solders. Their arch enemy is General Erich Ludendorff, who with the deadly talents of a deformed female Doctor Maru, is researching toxic gases that could change the course of the war. The obvious comparison of the hideously deformed face of Dr. Maru to Diana’s beauty is evil versus good.

The film gets a bit off the rails when Wonder Woman battles Ares, God of War and Diana’s half-brother. This is lethal sibling rivalry, but it was a good platform to show case Wonder Woman’s fighting skills. The action sequences are as impressive as any successful comic centric film. No punches were pulled.

The producers of Wonder Women are using the “f” word…franchise. They see this movie as a catalyst for other DC super hero films, especially after recent flops. Hollywood desperately wants to expand the audience base for comic/adventure movies to include young females and their pocket books.  Wonder Women sequels will propel this movement. Maybe we will see the invisible jet in the next film.