Top Gun Maverick

 

Top Gun Maverick

 Curse is getting long in the tooth, as we all are, but he is still Tom Terrific.  He is one of the most bankable movie stars in Hollywood. This film has surpassed the weekend opening record with a box office of $156m.

 This is not a great movie, but it is fun and watchable. The film is basically a two man story between Tom Curse and Miles Teller. Teller is the son of Curse’s wingman, Goose, who died in the 1986 film. There is history between them. Jennifer Connelly is sprinkled in as the love interest. Their romance is as steamy as lukewarm coffee. 

 Other actors include  Jon Ham as Vice Admiral Beau. He reprises his tight lipped Ad Men persona. Ed Harris has a brief appearance as a stern tight ass admiral; a real stretch for him. There are the other Top Gun pilots talking trash and jockeying for the top spot. In deference to  #metoo there is a female hot shot.

The only other actor from the original film is Val Kilmer. In real life Kilmer is suffering from throat cancer. He talks in a coarse whisper (his voice was created using AI). It is a touching moment when they embrace. Some elements of the 1986 film were recreated. Instead of a bare chested volleyball game, there was a bare chested touch football game (the lady wore a bra). Tom looked great for a 59 year old man child.

 The movie is predictable. There are some surprising twists and turns, but the outcome is  never in doubt. A hallmark of Curse's movies are the stunts. Curse has a reputation for insisting on doing his own stunts. The jet scenes are a major feature of the film. Spoiler alert Tom does not fly the jets himself. The actors are filmed in the jet fighters experiencing crushing G forces; no FX was used. Being crushed by G forces is not flattering and to Tom's credit he is willing to look like a quivering smashed tomato. The Navy charged $11,000 per hour for the jets.

 It is not necessary but you may benefit from seeing the 1986 Top Gun to get some perspective. In a way this is a nostalgic movie linking 1986 with 2022. Tom is not waiting another 36 years for his next sequel, Mission Impossible 8 comes out next year.

 

The Mummy

When there are three writers on a script it is a sure sign the movie sucks, as is the case here. This movie is a mash up of “An American Werewolf in London”, “The Walking Dead” and “The Mummy (with Brendan Frasier)”. It did not have an original bone in its body, with one big exception. This is the first FEMALE MUMMY. The plot points are endless and these numb nuts writers did nothing with it. I could write a better script. To have Sofia Boutella (this is the She assassin, from the “Kingsman, The Secret Service”, with cutlery for legs) stumble around in a grey body suite with Ace bandages dangling from her limbs is a waste.

The acting was insipid. Yes, it was effortless, since no effort was made. In comparison to this schlock Curse’s the “Fourth of July “is great drama. Russell Crowe is in the movie. He is so fat he almost explodes. I think I fell asleep so I am not sure about his character.

There is a generous shot Tom almost naked with a strategically placed cloth. For a man in his fifties he looks great, toned and lean. I know how hard it is to keep an athletic body, so Tom Tom kudos.  

Rotten Tomatoes gave it a score of 15 and the movie has lost $95m. Now that’s scary!

Joey’s Script:

Nicole Kidman is standing on her balcony smoking heroin.

A silver moon bathes the humid night.

Nicole is the Madame of an upscale brothel catering to British royalty and the upper classes.

All the prostitutes are twins.

Lost in an opium haze Kidman does not notice the black fog gathering behind her.

The fog engulfs her.

Skeletal hands with black broken nails emerge from the fog wrapping around Kidman’s chest, pulling her in.

Kidman’s eyes wide open in terror as she is consumed by the fog, but too late.

Sofia Boutella emerges from the balcony wearing in La Perla lingerie and Jimmy Choo pumps holding her asp.  

To be continued…..

Mission Impossible Rogue Nation

I wasn’t expecting much. After all this is another MI movie; been there done that. Also I had no desire to see a shirtless man with fifty three year old abs hanging like a salami from a post. Well, I was wrong. This is a fast paced exciting movie with new daring stunts. The plot is not convoluted and easily followed. The MI team is efficient and work well together. The film has a rich feel to it with glamorous locations. With a production cost of $150m (x 2 for distribution) the aging Tom Terrific better be terrific.

 Tom does his own stunts. For an old man that is amazing. In the trailers you see him hanging from the outside of a cargo plan as it ascends. This is real. The wind is so strong his toupee almost flew off. There is an underwater scene where he holds his breath for six minutes. Come on, what actor keep his mouth shut for that long. One stunt I do not believe he did is the motor cycle scene where Tom is racing without a helmet going so fast he has to put his knee down one inch from the ground like those crazy Italians.

Then there is Simon Pegg. He is moving up in the ranks and is the second banana in this film. He is the MI tech wizard. Besides being brilliant, but not consistent, he is very funny which is a welcomed addition to the movie .

Rebecca Ferguson is the femme fatale. She is a gymnastic beauty with endless legs. Her fighting style is formidable. She has this one move where she jumps in the air does a scissor lock around this guy’s head and smothers him with her tights on the ground. Nice way to go!  

 Jeremy Renner is unremarkable as an enabler. Towards the end there is a gun fight and he sees some action. Ving Rhames is hugh. His stunt is just getting out of a chair. Hope he makes it to the next MI. Alec Baldwin is the head of the CIA. He over acts; what a surprise.

Tom, really you did a great job. Your AARP application is in the mail.

Edge of Tomorrow

This movie is a combination of “Ground Hog Day” and “The Expendables”. It is a fun summer movie. Tom Curse and Emily Blunt are futuristic soldiers battling an invading alien force. The kicker is that Tom Curse keeps repeating the same day. How he restarts the same day is cruel but funny. The karma shtick works well from being to end and gives the film a holistic feel.

Acting is not a big concern for this film, this is an action flick. In contrast to his bravo performance in “Cocktail”, Curse is once again “Tom Terrific”. Curse is more light hearted here than the grim Ethan Hunt persona in “Mission Impossible”. Returning to yesterday is fraught with problems least of all convincing people you were already there.

Emily Blunt is a Special Forces bad ass (Ha Ha Ha!!). I like Emily Blunt, she is a good actress, but she is more suited to afternoon tea than storming the beach in full Lululemon black body armor. She and Tom are a team, unequal in the beginning but they catch up. Rather than a sex object Blunt is a highly trained killing machine. Tom starts out as a slacker and Emily whips him into shape (whipping is the least of his problems). This dynamic makes for good chemistry between the actors.

The aliens were quite different. They looked like chrome covered Ramen noodles with a bad over bite. It is not clear why they are invading the Earth, the problem is how do you get rid of them?

Two other likable character actors are Bill Paxton and Brendon Gleeson (“The Guard” and “In Bruges”). Paxton is the hard charging Master Sargent who is mustering his troops for battle. This is a departure from his more sedate roles, but he pulls it off with mustached gusto. Gleeson plays a general and he has really put on the pounds. Mercifully the only action he sees in the movie is diving for a box of cookies.

This is a safe movie for the whole family. No sex, no mindless gore, no cursing…and no kids.