The Mummy

When there are three writers on a script it is a sure sign the movie sucks, as is the case here. This movie is a mash up of “An American Werewolf in London”, “The Walking Dead” and “The Mummy (with Brendan Frasier)”. It did not have an original bone in its body, with one big exception. This is the first FEMALE MUMMY. The plot points are endless and these numb nuts writers did nothing with it. I could write a better script. To have Sofia Boutella (this is the She assassin, from the “Kingsman, The Secret Service”, with cutlery for legs) stumble around in a grey body suite with Ace bandages dangling from her limbs is a waste.

The acting was insipid. Yes, it was effortless, since no effort was made. In comparison to this schlock Curse’s the “Fourth of July “is great drama. Russell Crowe is in the movie. He is so fat he almost explodes. I think I fell asleep so I am not sure about his character.

There is a generous shot Tom almost naked with a strategically placed cloth. For a man in his fifties he looks great, toned and lean. I know how hard it is to keep an athletic body, so Tom Tom kudos.  

Rotten Tomatoes gave it a score of 15 and the movie has lost $95m. Now that’s scary!

Joey’s Script:

Nicole Kidman is standing on her balcony smoking heroin.

A silver moon bathes the humid night.

Nicole is the Madame of an upscale brothel catering to British royalty and the upper classes.

All the prostitutes are twins.

Lost in an opium haze Kidman does not notice the black fog gathering behind her.

The fog engulfs her.

Skeletal hands with black broken nails emerge from the fog wrapping around Kidman’s chest, pulling her in.

Kidman’s eyes wide open in terror as she is consumed by the fog, but too late.

Sofia Boutella emerges from the balcony wearing in La Perla lingerie and Jimmy Choo pumps holding her asp.  

To be continued…..