Atomic Blond

Atomic Blond

There is a special place in hell for directors of coming attractions. This movie is not just a flimsy lesbian laced donnybrook depicted in movie trailers. It has all that and more. This is a very respectable spy movie set in 1989 in Berlin when the cold war was hot. This film is more like John le Carre than Ian Fleming. There are spies, double spies and triple spies. In the absence of Bond type gadgetry, commando fighting dominates the film. Theron’s muscular fighting was impressive and exhausting. Everything was a weapon: rope, hot plates, phones and of course red stiletto heels. Theron was a one woman racking crew. Towards the end of the movie Theron was black and blue. How much was real and how much was make up? Apparently, she had real commando trading in the film and she was hurt.

The movie was a bit slow on the up take. Theron’s character is being debriefed by John Goodman (CIA) and his MI6 counterpart.  Poor Goodman looks like a deflated balloon with his massive weight loss. The narrative is a bit tedious cutting back and forth between the action and the debriefing room. It is a bit distracting. James McAvoy is a British spy with many secrets. He sleazy performance is counterpoint to his usual wholesome roles. but well done overall.

Another key player is Sofia Boutella. She is a French spy who becomes Theron’s lover. The intimate scenes are more suggestive than graphic. Her screen presence, with her clothes on, is not significant but her character is important.

In the end, this film was a pleasant surprise. It wasn’t mindless Rambo type movie of scantly glad tall blondes jello wrestling (God forbid). The plot was homage to Cold War spy movies. This was also another attempt by Hollywood to woo a female audience to action films. Whereas Wonder Woman was wholesomeness on white bread, Atomic Blond is naughtiness thickly spread on black pumpernickel. The almighty buck is asexual.

p.s.-I regret to report that Charlize Theron has a manish ass. Her butt looks like two loafs of Wonder Bread pressed together rather than the classic pear-shaped derrieres of Renaissance art and certain Latino signers. Perfection is over rated. 

X Men Apocalypse

 X Men Apocalypse

This probably is the worst written superhero film to date. Four writers are credited for this mess implying there were several rewrites and they still didn’t get it right. The divergent subplots did not coalesce. The overall plot is simple, world domination (it took four guys to figure this out!). Getting there was overly complicated. The disappointment is this film follows the last film” X Men First Class” which was a critical and financial success.

The cast is voluminous, with major and minor characters. The stalwarts are:

James McEvoy as professor Charles Xavier

Michael Fassbinder as Magneto

Jennifer Lawrence as Mystic

Nicholas Hoult as Beast

Having so many characters strains the cohesiveness of the film and sometimes is a distraction. Utilizing these characters was a challenge the director and writers failed. Some performances are brief and lacked impact. Remembering their names and powers is challenging for anyone over 60. Please refer to Wikipedia. 

Jennifer Lawrence is out of costume and looked especially fetching with blond tendrils falling on her shoulder. But when duty calls she releases her inner Smurf and transforms into Mystic blue and nude. Wolverine makes a cameo appearance. He is a human Cuisinart shredding soldiers with his talons. McEvoy and Fassbinder rekindle their love hate relationship. As the bad boy Fassbinder does little talking but much damage. McEvoy reprises his savoir of mankind role. There acting was a snooze,

The villain En Sabah Nur, the “First Mutant” (I thought that was Keith Richards?), is played by Oscar Isaac. With makeup and prosthesis, he is nearly unrecognizable, which for the sake of his career is a good thing. His star trajectory is on the rise (Star Wars, Ex Machina) so this role hopefully will just be a bump in his career

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For the most part the film was dower. Repartee was serious and not light hearted.  This movie is another downward spiral for the superhero genera. What hold the presses, to date the movie has made $402m (production cost $178m). Forget what I said!