Hoobs and Shaw

I was a bit reluctant seeing another Fast and Furious movie. How many ways can you split a pie? What is this the 47^th F&F movie? The movie turned out to be quite entertaining. Aside from all the motor chases and fist fights the film has a familial theme.

In the early F&F movies Hobbs and Shaw really tried to kill each other. Now they are more like bickering brothers trying to show up one another. As the movie progresses the bickering lessens and comradery develops. It has a great cast. Besides Dwyane Johnson and Jason Statham, there is Idris Elba, Helen Mirren and Venessa Kirby. Johnson has more muscle, Statham more stubble and Mirren more wrinkles.

Helen Mirren is Shaw’s imprisoned mother. I can not tell you who Venessa Kirby is but she has a critical role. There are other two cameos by well known actors who I will not identify but are very funny and worth waiting for (stay after the credits).

Hobbs and Shaw are reluctant partners still harboring old grudges. They are such has hams they would be barred from a kosher deli. Ibis Elba is part human part cyborg. He has superhuman abilities and is controlled by a terrorist organization. A talented actor reduced to scowls and grunts; but he looks good in leather.

What about the plot? The plot is just an excuse for mayhem and pyrotechnics and there is plenty. Shaw drives an awesome McLaren at high speeds through the streets of London; a feat in itself. There is a scene with a helicopter and a bunch of trucks which is a scene stealer. Elba has an autonomous motorcycle that comes at his beck and call. You know some of the stunts are CG but they are impressive.

The film has a PG-13 rating so thank goodness there is no sex. The closest thing to sexy is a hot Mexican actress Eiza Gonzales. I was so distracted by her outfit I am uncertain if she was a good guy or a bad guy.

If you want to spend a mindless two hours, this is your movie. There are  some chuckles. Rotten Tomatoes gave the film  67%. It is estimated opening weekend it will clear $600m box office (budget $200m). So when is Fast and Furious 48^th coming out?

The Fate of the Furious

The Fate of the Furious                                                                                   April 18, 2017

All the Fast and Furious (F&F) hallmarks are present. Relentless action, steroid infused fights, fantastic car races, uber-pyrotechnics and a plot little more than a footnote. Some of the gags and CG are approaching cartoon status. In one scene, it was literally raining cars. There is so much testosterone in this movie Vin Diesel and Dwayne Johnson should have spontaneously sprouted hair like a Chiba Pet. This said, this film is probably the most fun movie of the franchise. Feeling financially secure the producers are taking themselves less seriously. Former rivals are becoming strange bed fellows.

Thank God Vin Diesel’s acting has not improved keeping the Dom Toretto mystic intact. Dwayne Johnson is the ex-foe now Toretto comrade. The two compete in the tightest tee shirt contest. Jason Statham retains his sand paper beard and has a duplicitous role of foe and friend. The transitions are entertaining. The rest of the crew Letty, Roman, Tej Parker are still good guys. Bucking baldness, Ludacris sports a full head of hair; he was funnier without it.

The arch villain is Charliz Theron (the most beautiful women in the world, in my opinion). Unsmiling with her bleached white dread locks, she almost looks unrecognizable. Her character was devoid of humor or humanity. What a waste of beauty and talent. Lindsey Lohan would have done it on the cheap baring talent.

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There are two new characters. One of them manages to humanize Jason Statham. Helen Mirrin appears briefly (I should have not mentioned her). A fun part of the movie is old friends and enemies make cameos contributing to the light heathenness of the movie.

Surprisingly, the opening scenes are in Cuba, specifically Old Havana where I was just a few weeks ago. I recognized the neighborhoods and the Capital Plaza de La Revolucion, the starting point of the mandatory drag race. What I did not see was a long-legged chick in a short floral micro mini skirt wearing red stilettos (size 6) waving a silk unmentionable to start the race. Senior moment or not that I would have remembered!

The fate in Fate of the Furious is the box office. The movie exceeded opening weekend estimates of +$100 m. Worldwide all time net box office (after production cost) for the franchise is about $3.4 billion. Incentive enough for more films. 

Spy

Spy

This is a very funny movie. The laughs run throughout the movie with all actors contributing. Melissa McCarthy leaves angry Tammy and the loud mouth bridesmaid at the door for Susan Cooper, a shy and insecure desk agent. McCarty has fine comedic timing and her sharp commentary give the film an enjoyable and steady pace. She uses her girth as an asset for physical comedy which is impressive (or is it a body double?)

The plot is to stop the sale of a portable nuclear device. Susan goes from desk to field agent because she is unrecognizable to enemy. Her target is Rayana Boyanov, the daughter of the bomb maker, played brilliantly by Rose Byrne. The look of disdain is tattooed on Byrne’s face. Her dresses look like they come from the hooker section of Fredrick’s of Hollywood; but her pumps are gorgeous. Her mouth is as foul as she is beautiful. Besides trying to kill each other there is repartee between Susan and Rayana insulting each other’s fashion choices.  To fit into a high class casino Susan loses her polyester for a hugh designer black gown which resembles a Bedouin tent with feet.

Jude Law is the suave secret agent who Susan secretly loves. He is oblivious to her, fixated only on his perfect hair and pressed tux. His skill is dispatching bad guys and bedding bad girls.

Jason Statham leaves his comfort zone. He exchanges his karate skills and visible abs for a comic persona. He is a disgruntled, not too bright, foul mouth agent.  The target of his salvos is Susan and they are some of the best lines in the movie. I give him a B+ for the temerity to do comedy, but his timing is as rough as his sandpaper beard.

 Miranda Hart plays Susan’s pal and she too is inept in the field. Miranda is an English actress from a BBC TV series, “Call the Midwife”. She is very tall, very funny and perfect the side kick. She towers over the stunted McCarthy and they make the perfect Mutt and Jeff.

Bobby Cannavale is the suave nuke buyer. Bobby usually appears in a tee shirt holding a beer uttering a guttural Jersey accent. Putting Bobby in a tux with coiffed hair challenges Method Acting. He had little screen time but his parody was a fine contribution.

An embarrassing Italian parody is Aldo, played by Peter Serafinowicz. He is the embodiment of every distasteful Roman/Italian stereotype. His sexual overtures to Susan are vulgar and relentless. He leaves more finger prints on her ass than at crime scene.

Honorable mention goes to 50 cent. His contribution was just showing up. Mercifully he did not try to act.

See the movie, you can do worse this season.