Star Wars: The Force Awakens

Star Wars: The Force Awakens

It was like seeing old friends again, human and non-human. This film is very nostalgic, it harkens back to the first Star Wars film in 1977 (which I saw eleven times). There are numerous similarities between the two films. The same X wing star fighters are used, the Millennium Falcon was dusted off, and even the rebel attack formations were copied.  Jumping to light speed was choreographed in the same manner as before and the Death Star was super-sized. This connection between this film and the original Star Wars legitimizes J.J. Abrams and films to follow.

Han Solo and Chewbacca made the scene. Harrison Ford showed the effect of thirty eight years on his grizzled face. Chewie on the other hand looked marvelous, no grey fur anywhere. Princes Leia was de-bund and is now a general; rehab worked wonders. The dear old droids made cameo appearances.

 There are new characters. Finn, the ex-Stormtrooper now rebel, Rey (female) the scavenger, Poe the new ace pilot and the scene stealing rolli polli droid, BB-8 (destined to be the number one Christmas toy)  This is the foundation for the franchise going forward. There is a phalanx of bad guys that I cannot talk about.  

I would really like to say something about the plot, but I value my life!

For a fanboy it is a feast for the eyes and ears. The John Williams score soars. For those who have never seen Star Wars (only God knows who they may be), this is still a watchable and entertaining film.

This film is critic proof. In the end this movie is a shameless set up for the sequel (did I say too much?). May the force be with the box office.

The Big Short

Intentionally or unintentionally The Big Short is funny. This could be seen as gallows humor.   The main characters identify the impending collapse of the mortgage market which is refuted by the major financial institutions. The tension of the movie is who will win the bet. Every one over the age of twenty knows the answer. What makes the movie intriguing is how this band of financial savants/misfits, put their firms on the line holding to their convictions while the “experts” deride them.

All the actors were sterling. The main actors are Steve Carell, Christian Bale, Ryan Gosling and Brad Pitt. Christian Bale gives a spectacular performance. He plays Michael Burry a one eyed bare foot doctor who probably has Asperger and listens to heavy metal music to calm himself. Aside from being certifiable he is a financial genius. He sees what others do not see and bets big on it.

Steve Carell plays Mark Baum who is devoid of social skills. Between bouts of depression and anxiety he delivers some of the best humor of the movie relying on his comedic chops. Ryan Gosling is Mr. Slick. Abrasive and fast talking his rudeness is epic. Brad Pitt plays Ben Rickert, the mellow financial mentor. He is too mellow and is nearly wasted for the part.

To explain complex financial concepts the movie employs humorous vignettes. One has Antony Bourdain explaining the mortgage bundling to create derivatives by making a bouillabaisse as an analogy. Another has Selena Gomez explaining synthetic credit default swaps. I think she hurt herself. Jengo blocks were used to illustrate credit ratings (it worked).

This movie is outstanding, too bad it is all true.

Creed

The Rocky franchise has been very lucrative, but how to keep it going? Maybe Walking the Dead Stallone or Dancing With Balboa. Or you can have a very angry illegitimate son of Apollo Creed ascending into the ring. He disdains his father’s reputation, wanting to make his own mark in the boxing world. He changes his last name form Creed to Johnson, but keeps his first name Adonis. Yeah, in South Philly, with that name you better be fast with your fists or fast with your feet.

This film is a melodrama throwing some jabs as a drama. Besides the young romance of little Creed and his girlfriend, Bianca, all the elements of the Rocky formula are present. Long shot dreams, failure, perseverance, blossoming kinship, museum steps and animal carcasses (I lie no dead cows were punched). There are some touching scenes between Rocky and Adonis as their relationship evolves. This is a better movie than the “post” Rocky films, it has the familiar uplifting theme which is the engine of these films. This film is like hot chicken soup on a cold winter’s night, warm and fuzzy.

Stallone was Stallone. With his hound dog eyes and droopy lips he looked like a Muppet. He was still talking with marbles in his mouth and sometimes needed sub-titles. Stallone had more scenes out of the gym which he handled well. The rest of the cast did fine work, but no one broke sweat. Michael B. Jordon, with his Adonis body, grows from a bitter young man to a disciplined boxer capable of respect and love. Tessa Thompson plays Bianca, Creed’s love interest. She is Adrian with dread locks. Phylicia Rashad plays Apollo’s widow who takes in little Creed. She has small functional roles. Hey, after the Cosby show, any work is welcomed.

The big fight takes place in Liverpool England. As usual the fight scenes are a big hit. Antony Bellow is the opponent. Tony is a real prize fighter who has the swollen face to show for it. The boxing choreography is impressive. Towards the end of the film the producers could not retrain themselves and threw in some old Rocky memorabilia. The stars and stripes shorts were reprised and the soaring Rocky anthem heralded the fight.

Given Hollywood’s horrible performance this year this modest film is a shining light (you though I was going to say a knockout). Stay tuned for Creed II.

Spectre

I have been in Milan for fifteen days and needed a fix, badly. I went to the local cinema and BUENA FORTUNA, Spectre was playing. I bought the ticket and rushed to make the two o’clock show. And, and the movie is in Italian! What the hell! This is an American movie with English stars. After calming down I rationalized this may not be a big deal. Basically, in Bond movies, James kills every one and get laid. Bada Bing Bada Boom.

Let’s put the Monica Bellucci thing to bed. Her screen time was about five minutes and the simulated (not stimulated) sex was about one minute. She is an attractive fifty year old women with fifty year old hands and fifty year old eyes. Any man would be proud to have her on his arm. But time and gravity are unforgiving.

Bond movies still remind me of when I was a kid. The opening credits and music are exciting. This movie does not disappoint. After Sean Connery, I think Daniel Craig is the best Bond. His cold blue eyes, pursed lips and his Walter PPK make him a remorseless killer. The movie is filled with action and Bond continually survives near death situations (Dah). One scene is painful to watch but at least the screaming was in English. The movie has some of the best aerial stunts involving inverted helicopters and wrecked airplanes. There is also the requisite pyrotechnics on a massive scale.  

Ralph Fiennes reprises his role as M and has a more muscular role in this movie. He is in front of the desk shooting bad guys. Ben Whishaw is the mop headed gadget wizard Q, is also targeted by bad guys. The new Bond girl is Lea Seydeoux. She blond and tall and not the sexist Bond girl wearing high heels. She is French with an English veneer making her crinkly. There is a new henchman, Mr. Hinx who is reminiscent of Oddjob, both in bulk and dearth of acting ability. Luckily, Mr. Hinx had no dialogue.

The gadgets were always a big draw for the Bond movies. Aside from the Omega watch which does more than tell time, the new Austin Martin DB 10 is one of the sexiest stars of the show. For fun they include some retro accessories into the car. Regrettably these are the only two gadgets of note.

My biggest regret is not hearing Christoph Waltz's lilting German accent. No dubbing does him justice. He is the villain, Franz Oberhauser, head Spectre and their goal is either world domination or destruction, whichever comes first. Waltz has a clam approach to evil; soft spoken and utterly ruthless. Fighting Spectre is a throwback to the Connery movies. They even reprised the white fluffy Persian cat Blofeld use to stroke.

What I missed most without dialogue are the glib one liners characteristic of these movies. Having seen all twenty three Bond movies I have some idea of the plot sans dialogue. I will be delighted to see it in English to fill in the blanks, big ones. This movie will do big box office and I recommend you see it. As good as this movie is I think Casino Royal is the best of the new Bond movies.

Regrettably my Italian only served me well asking where the location of the bathroom. Mi dispiace!

n.b. In Italian movie theaters they assign seats. I realized this after the show (there were only about 15 people in the theater).

In the middle of the movie they have a five minute intermission. Not knowing any better when the lights went on I dashed to the nearest by emergency exit.

The Walk

The Walk

This movie is ridiculous. It is not really a movie but a documentary masquerading as a movie. Philippe Petit, as played by Joseph Gordon-Levitt, narrated the whole movie. In some shots he stands atop the Statue of Liberty’s torch with the Towers as background looking directly at the camera and addressing the audience.

This film has two gimmicks. The first is getting you to spend $21.00 the 3D version of the movie so you can experience all the special effects. The other is to try to induce vertigo from the high wire shots at the top of the towers. This is all done with green screens on sound lots. The effects are good but you know they are simply looking at graphics.

The movie is a biopic about Philippe Petit. Gordon-Levitt plays him like a strutting French cock with kinetic energy looking for the next challenge/high.  He is an e self-promoting egotist. He has no redeeming value and seeks only notoriety. He has an annoying French accent and wears a fright wig. There is nothing appealing about his character, the walk is solely for him.

Ben Kingsley is a father figure and mentor who gives him valuable advice about walking the wire. He has a generic east European accent which Sir Kingsley delivers flawlessly. Charlotte Le Bon is the love interest. She is lovely and she did the role well.

The center piece of the movie is the walk. Gordon-Levitt narrates every step as if he was broadcasting from some news desk. Every leathery foot step is magnified on the screen and the steel wire jutes out in 3D over the audience’s heads. The realism of the shoots from the top of the towers can cause vertigo (fear not, I was fine).

One big plus of the movie is nostalgia. It was great to see the towers in their glory. The walk was done in August 1974 so the Towers were not finished. How he and his crew got to the roof is extraordinary. I am certain these events are true, but this was such an innocent period before our world fell apart on 9 11.

A very strange movie, I cannot recommend it.

The Martian

The Martian

This movie has generated a lot of hype; does it live up to it? In my opinion not all the way. As a Ridely Scott movie it garners a certain level of prestige. He has directed big hits such as Blade Runner and Alien and some foul balls like Robin Hood and Exodus: Gods and Kings. In this nearly three hour, large parts are tedious. The film is a combination of Lost in Space and This Old House. Matt Damon’s character is marooned on Mars and to survive he has to improvise how to make dirt, water, plants and fix broken machinery. At one point he actually uses duct tape (man’s best friend) to fix a broken helmet. Tension in this movie is like a deflated tire and only towards the end is some pressure applied.  

There are big stars in this movie. Supporting Matt Damon are: Jessica Chastain, Kata Mara, Kristien Wiig, Chitwetel Edjiofor, Michael Pena and Jeff Daniels. No one broke any serious drama sweat. They portrayed a steely cold can do NASA attitude. This makes good copy for NOVA but not for drama. Even in life threatening situations Damon’s character is almost placid (recall Tom Hanks in Apollo 13, you could cut tension with a knife). There was light comedy which is a plus. To keep their PG rating they could not say the F word and had to mouth it.

Jessica Chastain was the cool commander who has some key parts towards the end. Kristien Wiig is the relations executive who seemed a bit out of her element. No funnies from her. The rest of the actors were pretty straight forward. Aside from Michal Pena I was not familiar with the rest of the crew. Jeff Danial’s plays the director of NASA as a stiff. He does it really well.

As with his other Ridley Scott films cinematography is rich and spectacular. The graphics were great and the rendering of the Mars’s surface is realistic. I am sure all the NASA paraphernalia is accurate. The duct tape was real.

The last few minutes has the best suspense of the whole movie. No, I will not say what happens. Are the last few minutes’ worth the whole movie? This is not Apollo 13 or even Gravity. The Martian is a feel good can do attitude movie. I know I am swimming against the tide of raves from the critiques with this review, so please make up your own mind as you should always do.

The Man from Uncle

The Man from Uncle

In the early 60’s I use to faithfully watch the TV show The Man from U.N.C.L.E.. It was fun, the gadgets were great, the chicks were plentiful and trying to understand the heavy Russian accented voice of Lllya Kuryakin as uttered by a Scotsman was a challenge. The geopolitics of the Cold War were lost on a thirteen year old boy, but the Russian Missile Crisis scared the crap out of me. 

The movie is set during the hot period of the Cold War. Our boys are trying to stop renegade Nazis’s from making a nuclear bomb. The USA and USSR work together with fingers crossed behind their back. The movie recreates the 60’s feeling with clothes, make up and cars. Most of the action takes place in Italy near Rome. Lots of Italian is spoken in the movie and large yellow subtitles are used, which are unnecessary for us native speakers. 

The 2015 Man from Uncle movie has little to do with the TV show aside from using the same names for the protagonists. Henry Cavell is Napoleon Solo, played by Henry Cavill, who is proto Bond; very debonair and a chick magnet. Amie Hammer plays Lllya Kuryakin. Compared to the original petite T.V. actor, Armie looks like a refrigerator with shoes. Hugh Grant plays Waverly who is the movie’s equivalent of the incomparable Leo C. Carroll. Grant comes in at the tail end of the movie with his patented grin and effortless style. The villainesses is a tall glass of water named the Countessa Victoria Vinciguerra (which in English means “wina the war”). She wore so much eye make, raccoons were jealous. The Countessa looked like Twiggy only forty pounds heavier and twelve inches taller.  The heroine is Alicia Vikander who plays a key role as Gabriella Telller. Teller is cute, smart and the lynch pin of the operation. After many false starts there is a near kiss with the shy Kuryakin (regrettably there is absolutely no sex). In the credits I noticed t David Beckham played the projectionist. I had no idea he was in the movie. Sporting too many tattoos he blended in with wallpaper.

The actors were marvelous together. In the beginning there was that American Russian distrust which evolves into coexistence, but not quite friendship. This movie is hilarious. It is an action/comedy. The audience laughed out loud more than once. The director is Guy Ritchie who has this great talent for mixing violence and comedy (Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels and the Sherlock Holmes films). This is a simple movie with 1960’s sensibilities. It is fun, which is good enough.

Ciao

Mission Impossible Rogue Nation

I wasn’t expecting much. After all this is another MI movie; been there done that. Also I had no desire to see a shirtless man with fifty three year old abs hanging like a salami from a post. Well, I was wrong. This is a fast paced exciting movie with new daring stunts. The plot is not convoluted and easily followed. The MI team is efficient and work well together. The film has a rich feel to it with glamorous locations. With a production cost of $150m (x 2 for distribution) the aging Tom Terrific better be terrific.

 Tom does his own stunts. For an old man that is amazing. In the trailers you see him hanging from the outside of a cargo plan as it ascends. This is real. The wind is so strong his toupee almost flew off. There is an underwater scene where he holds his breath for six minutes. Come on, what actor keep his mouth shut for that long. One stunt I do not believe he did is the motor cycle scene where Tom is racing without a helmet going so fast he has to put his knee down one inch from the ground like those crazy Italians.

Then there is Simon Pegg. He is moving up in the ranks and is the second banana in this film. He is the MI tech wizard. Besides being brilliant, but not consistent, he is very funny which is a welcomed addition to the movie .

Rebecca Ferguson is the femme fatale. She is a gymnastic beauty with endless legs. Her fighting style is formidable. She has this one move where she jumps in the air does a scissor lock around this guy’s head and smothers him with her tights on the ground. Nice way to go!  

 Jeremy Renner is unremarkable as an enabler. Towards the end there is a gun fight and he sees some action. Ving Rhames is hugh. His stunt is just getting out of a chair. Hope he makes it to the next MI. Alec Baldwin is the head of the CIA. He over acts; what a surprise.

Tom, really you did a great job. Your AARP application is in the mail.

Mr. Holmes

Mr. Holmes

Sir Ian McKellen hails from the school of great British actors including John Gielgud, Derek Jacobi and Ralph Fiennes. This small jewel of a movie is a showcase for a master actor. Mckellen plays Holmes devoid of his pipe, cap and cape. This Holmes is more debonair with a silk top hat and a bespoke suit. His attitude is prickly and distant.  McKellen can play the role without words. You know what he is saying just by looking at him. He ages ten years just by using facial expressions. We have not seen this Holmes before. At 93 stands at the edge of darkness and refuses to look down.

Holmes retired 35 years ago and lives on a farm in Dover. He lives with his house keeper Mrs. Munro, played by Laura Linney and her young son Roger. All of Holmes’s loved ones have passed on: Dr. Watson, his brother Mycroft and Mrs. Hudson his former house keeper. These deaths put a profound sadness on Holmes, but what scares him more is his loss of memory. What Dr. Morioirty could not do with a gun and a dagger, Alzheimer is killing cell by cell. Desperately seeking a cure for his memory loss he travels to Japan for a plant found in the fields of Hiroshima. At home he cultivates Royal Jelly hoping for the same cure. They prove to be hokum. He is more frightened of losing his memory than death.

There is a story within a story. Compared to other Holmes tales this one is a simple. It is a vehicle to show how Holmes wound up in his farm house. The sad outcome of the case lead to his retirement.

Mercifully this movie is devoid of stunts and CG. The great unwashed will ridicule the movie’s low box office but be confounded by the great number of nominations it garners. This is an actor’s movie, the cast is outstanding. For the Master Piece Theater crowd this film is for you. For you Sherlock Holmes groupies, this movie is for you. For the rest, you could do a lot worst.

Jurassic World

Jurassic World

This is movie is predictable and formulaic. There are the munch and crunch dinosaurs, herbivores who invariably become appetizers, lost kids in peril and a super designed dino’s, Indominus.  Inodminus dominates the movie terrorizing the park. The other non-human stars are the four Velociraptors. In this film they are domesticated (sort of) by Chris Pratt. Frankly I prefer the vicious cunning flesh ripping raptors of the first film rather than these semi-tamed hunting dogs.

Chris Pratt plays a He-man like character with gun in hand, knife in his belt and a shirt he should have changed a week age. He is the alpha male, unless the dinosaurs tell him otherwise. He plays the role too straight which is unfortunate since the movie could have used his well-honed humor (big mistake).

Bryce Dallas Howard, plays Claire Dearing, with her porcelain looks and Cleopatra haircut. She is the park’s CEO. She does the whole movie wearing six inch heels, even running in the jungle. Her character starts out a cool in control executive and deteriorates in to panicked screaming wreck.  Taking a serious actress and reducing her to a screaming wretch seems like a waste of money and talent.

Claire’s two nephews visit the park. They are wholesome non-descript kids from anywhere America. The Jurassic franchise uses kids as a barometer to gauge fear with their eyes popping out and lips cracked from screaming. No different here.

In this type of movie acting is tertiary. No one’s performance can be criticized because they are part of a spectacle. Actors could be interchangeable. All the director wants is a marquee name to boost box office.   

This movie is like a beloved amusement park ride. You know what to expect with highs between the lows. You have been on the ride before and you will again. If you are a paleontologist or still enchanted with your childhood plastic dinosaurs, this is your movie. But if you resist the urge to see the film, consider saving your money for another flick, perhaps the Grey series (NEVER!!!).

Spy

Spy

This is a very funny movie. The laughs run throughout the movie with all actors contributing. Melissa McCarthy leaves angry Tammy and the loud mouth bridesmaid at the door for Susan Cooper, a shy and insecure desk agent. McCarty has fine comedic timing and her sharp commentary give the film an enjoyable and steady pace. She uses her girth as an asset for physical comedy which is impressive (or is it a body double?)

The plot is to stop the sale of a portable nuclear device. Susan goes from desk to field agent because she is unrecognizable to enemy. Her target is Rayana Boyanov, the daughter of the bomb maker, played brilliantly by Rose Byrne. The look of disdain is tattooed on Byrne’s face. Her dresses look like they come from the hooker section of Fredrick’s of Hollywood; but her pumps are gorgeous. Her mouth is as foul as she is beautiful. Besides trying to kill each other there is repartee between Susan and Rayana insulting each other’s fashion choices.  To fit into a high class casino Susan loses her polyester for a hugh designer black gown which resembles a Bedouin tent with feet.

Jude Law is the suave secret agent who Susan secretly loves. He is oblivious to her, fixated only on his perfect hair and pressed tux. His skill is dispatching bad guys and bedding bad girls.

Jason Statham leaves his comfort zone. He exchanges his karate skills and visible abs for a comic persona. He is a disgruntled, not too bright, foul mouth agent.  The target of his salvos is Susan and they are some of the best lines in the movie. I give him a B+ for the temerity to do comedy, but his timing is as rough as his sandpaper beard.

 Miranda Hart plays Susan’s pal and she too is inept in the field. Miranda is an English actress from a BBC TV series, “Call the Midwife”. She is very tall, very funny and perfect the side kick. She towers over the stunted McCarthy and they make the perfect Mutt and Jeff.

Bobby Cannavale is the suave nuke buyer. Bobby usually appears in a tee shirt holding a beer uttering a guttural Jersey accent. Putting Bobby in a tux with coiffed hair challenges Method Acting. He had little screen time but his parody was a fine contribution.

An embarrassing Italian parody is Aldo, played by Peter Serafinowicz. He is the embodiment of every distasteful Roman/Italian stereotype. His sexual overtures to Susan are vulgar and relentless. He leaves more finger prints on her ass than at crime scene.

Honorable mention goes to 50 cent. His contribution was just showing up. Mercifully he did not try to act.

See the movie, you can do worse this season.

San Andreas

The action stars of this movie are the earthquakes and the tsunami, the Rock is just some guy flying a helicopter. This is the most un-Rock movie I have seen to date. He doesn’t kill anyone, shot anyone, break any one’s back or even takeoff his shirt. No pectoral dancing here ladies. Oh a correction, he does punch out one obnoxious looter.

The Rock and his estranged wife are looking for their daughter amidst the devastation of the San Francisco earthquake. I am not dissing this noble cause, but this is not Rockish. You would expect him to be knee deep in rubble saving babies and lifting trucks of the legs of some priest. Just rushing around looking for his daughter is boring. It is more boring when his daughter is a very smart and capable young woman able to take care of herself. She handles distress well. Anyone want to guess the ending?

There were actually flashes of acting on the Rock’s part. Getting all pissy about signing divorce papers and giving the new boyfriend the stinky eye. There was even a passionate kiss with his wife lasting a bit too long (closed mouth).

The earthquakes were biblical. Buildings fell like Jenga blocks with total disregard to building codes. Modern buildings in seismic areas are required to have life saving features. Then there is the claim of predicting earthquakes made by the head of Cal Tech’s seismic department played by Paul Giamatti. When they predicted an earthquake it was already occurring. That is not what predicting means. A prediction is something before it happens not when. Surprisingly Giamatti’s character does not know how probability works. A poor actuary sitting next to me groaned. 

This movie harkens back to the disaster films of the 1970’s: Airplane, Towering Inferno and Earthquake. Aside for innovations in computer graphics this film has the same chunkiness of its predecessors. The spectacle  overwhelms the story.

I hope this is not a trend for the Rock.  Please stick to mayhem, fast cars, guns and women of questionable morals. Anyone can save a lady in distress, but can they make their pecks dance?

Tomorrowland

Tomorrowland is a children’s movie, a $190m children’s movie. The back story is the 1964 New York City World’s Fair where hints of the future are showcased and are the blue prints for the movie. In its boredom this film is classic Disney, harkening back to the 1960’s when it made sanitized wholesome broadcasts. The PG rating makes the movie devoid of anything interesting for adults. The children actors were cute but your money would be better spent at a petting zoo.

George Clooney does not appear until half way through the movie. The first half is devoted to a teenage girl and an adorable android girl and their benign   misadventures.  When Clooney appears he is a cantankerous grizzled middle aged man (Giving up suaveness must have been great sacrifice). Initially resisting to cooperate   with the girl’s Clooney falls in with them (surprise) and they go to Tomorrowland.  

Hugh Laurie shows up even later in the movie than Clooney. He is the evil Governor Nix who rules Tomorrowland. He is more bad than evil, George and Hugh have some non-belligerent history between them.  Towards the end of the movie Laurie breaks the Disney coda and says a mild curse, “bollocks”. Bollocks has many meanings in English slang, I am rooting for “balls”.

Because of the PG rating there is no sex (dah) but battles with the evil robots are sanitized to the point of tiresomeness.  Heads pop off like Ken dolls and motor oil substitutes for blood. A little Terminator brutality would have spiced up this dull broth.

The plot is all over the place. They hop from the present to the future using a small token with a capital blue T (wait until some kid chokes on this token as a tie in for a cereal). There is some reference to annihilation, but the why and wherefore are foggy.

The acting is on level of a wet paper towel. All the actors are good looking and cute (except Laurie). You would feel OK if your daughter or son dated them (except Clooney). But I refuse to pay $11.00 (senior citizen) for cute. If I want cute I would I buy a dam bunny. Disney tried for nostalgia with Tomorrowland, however their audience was fifty years ago. 

Mad Max: Fury Road

Mad Max: Fury Road

On a lazy summer Saturday afternoon in 1979 my sister and I went to the movies. Mad Max was playing, we had no idea what it was about. After it finished we still had no idea what was going on. The movie was spectacular and totally energizing with the post-apocalyptic fall out resulting in a brutal and a lawless environment. Mad Max was an early contributor to this genre and set standards.  

The new Mad Max is a visual extravaganza. The cinematography is outstanding and probably the film’s best feature (it was filmed in Namibia and Australia). The movie is non-stop with cars, trucks and motorcycles churning up dust crisscrossing the desert.  The bad guys are led by a plastic encased emphysema inflicted dog ugly warlord. He holds some sort of quasi deity position and just by looking at him the on looker has a sense of divinity. The evil minions, the War Boys, are pan face caked zealots with no regard to life believing the gates of Valhalla await them upon death. They wear outrageous costumes ranging from clownish out fits to S&M. Their weird combinations are funny to watch.

This is a simple movie. It is basically car (truck) chase movie. Charlize Theron, who plays Imperator Furiosa, is transporting valuable cargo which the bad guys want back. Tom Hardy is Max who initially was Theron’s captive but becomes an ally. There is a plot line about Furiosa’s back story and mission and Max’s adventures that got him to this point, but on the whole this is a just chase movie with lots of stunts and a two hour demolition derby with a high body count.

Hardy plays the strong silent type, and he is very silent.  He has about five lines in the movie not including grunts. Dialogue is not memorable; the movie’s emphasis is action. Theron has more speaking parts besides driving the truck. Driving the truck includes near death situations and heroics. For some inexplicable reason Theron is missing part of her left arm below the elbow. The remaining parts are still great. No one broke a sweat acting.

Some critiques have heaped adulation on the movie as a great artistic achievement (Rotten Tomato-99). They are certainly welcome to their opinion, but get real! This is just a very expensive chase movie with high mega wattage stars. In essence this is still a lazy Saturday afternoon flick.  

Ex Machina

Ex Machina (or as we say in Italian Ex Machina) is a movie about AI, artificial intelligence. There have been numerous AI movie from I Robot to Terminator. This movie is not as action filled as its predecessors. Ex Machina, especially in the beginning, is more cerebral. These films always have a Dr. Frankenstein question, “What have I created? Is it good or bad?”  The good in this case is Ava. She has a pleasant face, nice hands and feet and body parts from Home Depot.

This is basically a three character movie:

• Domhnail Glesson plays Caleb the code writer and house guest
• Oscar Isaac plays Nathan the CEO of the tech company making robots with AI.
• Alicia Vikander plays Ava (or parts of her anyway) the robot with advanced AI.

Caleb won a contest to spend a week at Nathan’s fabulous minimalist home. Caleb is part of a Turing test team to determine a robot’s ability to exhibit intelligent behavior. The tests are conducted by Caleb in sessions with Ava sitting on the other side of a glass patrician. At one point Ava asks questions befuddling Caleb. As the movie progresses these plot turns increase transforming the movie from the original premise.

For most of the movie all we see of Ava is her transparent plastic body. When she puts on a dress and wig she looks very human. Accessorized AI makes the woman.  Her intellectual and emotional advancements are the heart of the movie. She is inorganic but evolves.

Isaac is the driving force in the movie. He is an arrogant egotistical multi-millionaire totally focused on his project and indifferent to collateral damage. Isaac plays the role with great passion making his character odious and detestable (he cuts a mean rug).  He irritably says Dude so often he could be a James Franco double.

Caleb is the brainy innocent, a bit slow on the take up.  He has good intentions but they are not reciprocated.  Nathan underestimates Caleb’s hacking ability and tenacity, which is the short coming of arrogance.

The film is not breaking new ground when it comes to AI movies, but it has a distinctive style and mood.  Instead of the Terminator you have Ava beguiling her way into hearts and minds. Both are potent.

Furious 7

Furious 7

In the past I said unkind things about the Fast and Furious franchise, I take none of it back. The best thing to say about this film is it is honest. You get what you paid for. It is two hours and twenty minutes of non-stop action. The story line was just an excuse to blow something up. The dialogue was forgettable, with or without Alzheimer. Acting consisted of various head shots either with a scowl or raised eyebrow (the Rock). Regrettably, Vin Diesel did not bring the level of acting to this role which he did in the Riddick movies.

This film follows the FF formula:

• ·        Car racing, car crashes or flying cars (with or without parachutes)
• ·        Fighting, lots of it.
• ·        Girl fights, cool.
• ·        Explosions; anything and everything that can explode.
• ·        Babes in skimpy outfits banned in Indiana, Wisconsin and Arkansas (I expected more babes).
• ·        The Rock flexing.
• ·        Vin Diesel’s smug sneer.
• ·        Michelle Rodrigues looking scary sexy

Added to this merry band were two new actors: Jason Statham and Kurt Russell. Don’t read this but Statham is the bad guy. Statham is a one man wrecking crew seeking vengeance for something I forgot (it really does not matter, just let him blow it up). Kurt Russell is a ghost agent materializing like a spider from above.  Gone is his blond mane of hair supplanted by a slicked back grey mop. His role is not pivotal but campy.

This film is a memoriam of sorts to Paul Walker. Much has been said about using his brother as a spare for filming. I could not tell the difference, but all will be revealed in Furious 8-Furious to be dead. Guess who makes a cameo appearance?

It Follows

It Follows

The last time a movie scared me I was eleven and snuck into my sister’s bed to use her as a human shield in case the Wolf Man attacked. Luckily nothing happened. This movie is not full throttle scary like the Exorcist, Poltergeist or Alien. It is a low budget art house movie. But it is very effective and clever. Instead of using big FX and expensive special effects it relies on imagination and a good story. The movie is a mash up between Alfred Hitchcock and Stephen King. It has the timing of Hitchcock and the creepiness of Stephen King. The actors are not well known (at least to me), but they do an effective job of scaring themselves and the audience.

There were genuine moments of fear. At one point the hair on the back of my neck went up and I am ashamed to admit I covered my eyes while peeking through my fingers (I think twice).  The “It” of It Follows is a specter that only can only be seen by the person possessed. The victim then tries to pass on the curse to some else to free themselves of the damnation. The tension comes when the victim sees a specter but no one else does. The movie creates an atmosphere of dread. The location is some depressed suburbia past its prime where lawns are tattered and rusty chain link fences need to be replaced. There is nothing evil about the neighborhood, but its banality intensifies the sense foreboding. Like the victim you do not know if the person approaching is real or not, making you a participant of the movie. The killings are not terribly gruesome but are inventive and wicked.

I realize this an art house movie and may not be available near you (especially in New Jersey). But when it comes up in Netflix it is worth viewing. A human shield is not required, popcorn is optional. 

50 Shades of Grey

50 Shades of Grey

OMG, this movie was so boring it could be used as a general anesthetic. Everyone went to this movie for the sex, but the lead up story was grueling tedious. There was no sex for the first 43.5 minutes (typical). The dialogue was inane. The actors were uninspired. Instead of camp the acting it was damp. Dakota Johnson was submissive with sparks of defiance. Jamie Dornan plays Grey with dull seriousness. As a twenty eight year old CEO of a major corporation he cares more about his ties than business. He sports a look of consternation which is either from conflicting emotions or constipation.

The books were written by E.L. James, some bored middle aged English housewife, and sold over 100m copies; quantity does not imply quality. I am certain everyone skipped the prologue and went directly to page 189. There is a back story about Grey’s origin and savory hints are dropped in the movie. If the sex is unsatisfying, hopefully Grey’s dark origin will bring you back to the theatre (God help us, there is a sequel (s)). It is difficult to comment on the acting. I am sure Johnson and Dornan are capable actors but they are victimized by boring dialogue, indifferent directing and a meaningless plot. When I looked up the plot summary in Wikipedia it said forgetaboutit.  

So why did the audience put up with this nonsense? For the sex of course. Although this was hyped as an S&M primer, there was nothing new here. The Marguis de Sade, who is the godfather of S&M, piled his trade in the 1700’s; regrettably before VHS. A quote from the Marquis, “It is always by way of pain one arrives at pleasure”. The sex scenes were stern and lacked passion. The rope was red but too thin. The pain room was a very neat and well organized with wipes neatly hung in a row. There was a discernible lack of titillation.

For all this badgering, the movie cleared to date $500m (production cost $40m). Sex does sell. Before seeing the movie I thought this was smut. It is too listless to be smut. Remember to renew your Playboy subscription. 

Kingsman: The Secret Service

Kingsman: The Secret Service

This is a very entertaining movie. I had reservations about Colin Firth playing an action figure.  The Brigitte Jones’ Diary and The King’s Speech are not boot camps for action roles. However, he does an excellent job while impeccably dressed (for a Brit that is) wielding an umbrella as a weapon.  The movie is a mélange of genres. There is homage to the 1960’s TV show The Avengers where John Steed the upper class agent battled villains with his bowler hat and cane. Kingsman uses elements of cartoon to render some horrific scenes more palatable. Some fight scenes could have come off the drawing table of cartoonist Tex Avery. The gadgetry is swiped directly from James Bond sans Q. All the parts work. This makes the movie interesting; you do not think it will work, but they do.

Before going on too far this is definitely a guy movie, but no one should be put off. It is not just a movie about body count (although there is a lot), the plot is interesting. There is no gratuities sex in the move except for one in the end. A key sub plot is the recruitment of Eggsy Unwin (Taron Egerton) into the Kingsman. Unwin is East End rather than Eaton and needs more than a new suit to cover his rough hide. The recruitment tests are clever and raise the movie a notch above the usual fair. Egerton plays the role with the naiveté which you expect from a recruit but his confidence and skills grow with experience. Firth and Egerton play the roles of mentor and mentee and a strong bond grows.

The villain is Samuel L. Jackson with an insufferable lisp. He is a billionaire industrialist who has a deadly plan to solve global warning. He wears a hip-hop designer baseball cap with a bespoke tailor made suit. He is wacky and mad. His tools of destruction are a sublime appeal to the consumer culture. Again this is an interesting combination of Dr. Evil and Blofeld (Bond bad guy) but it works.

The most intriguing character is Sophie Boutella who plays Gazelle. She has prostatic legs with deadly sharp blades for feet accented with killer spiked steel high heels (I Googled her and mercifully she has legs, nice ones too). She used her blades to slice and dice the Brits. It is very interesting seeing her bouncing like a sexy pogo stick. This is definably a movie for Oscar Pistorious to watch.

Two other characters of note are Michael Cain and Mark Strong. Cain plays the head of Kingsman and is an old upper crust wretch. Mark Strong plays the task master who monitors the recruitment tests and is the side kick. Strong usually plays the heavy so it was refreshing to see him play the good guy.

Stay to watch the credits!

2015 Oscar Nominations

Oscars 2015: Nominations list

A full list of nominations for the 87th Academy Awards, to be held in Los Angeles on 22 February.

Best picture

American Sniper

Birdman

Boyhood

The Grand Budapest Hotel

The Imitation Game

Selma

The Theory of Everything

Whiplash

Best director

Wes Anderson, The Grand Budapest Hotel

Alejandro G Inarritu, Birdman

Richard Linklater, Boyhood

Bennett Miller, Foxcatcher

Morten Tyldum, The Imitation Game

Best actor

Steve Carell, Foxcatcher

Bradley Cooper, American Sniper

Benedict Cumberbatch, The Imitation Game

Michael Keaton, Birdman

Eddie Redmayne, The Theory of Everything

Best actress

Marion Cotillard, Two Days, One Night

Felicity Jones, The Theory of Everything

Julianne Moore, Still Alice

Rosamund Pike, Gone Girl

Reese Witherspoon, Wild

Best supporting actor

Robert Duvall, The Judge

Ethan Hawke, Boyhood

Edward Norton, Birdman

Mark Ruffalo, Foxcatcher

JK Simmons, Whiplash

Best supporting actress

Patricia Arquette, Boyhood

Laura Dern, Wild

Keira Knightley, The Imitation Game

Emma Stone, Birdman

Meryl Streep, Into the Woods

Best adapted screenplay

American Sniper

The Imitation Game

Inherent Vice

The Theory of Everything

Whiplash

Best original screenplay

Birdman

Boyhood

Foxcatcher

The Grand Budapest Hotel

Nightcrawler

Best animated feature

Big Hero 6

The Boxtrolls

How to Train Your Dragon 2

Song of the Sea

The Tale of Princess Kaguya

Best animated short-Did not pick

The Bigger Picture

The Dam Keeper

Feast

Me and My Moulton

A Single Life

Best cinematography

Birdman

The Grand Budapest Hotel

Ida

Mr Turner

Unbroken

Best costume design

The Grand Budapest Hotel

Inherent Vice

Into the Woods

Maleficent

Mr Turner

Best documentary feature

CitizenFour

Finding Vivian Maier

Last Days in Vietnam

The Salt of the Earth

Virunga

Best documentary short-Did not pick

Joanna

Our Curse

The Reaper

White Earth

Best film editing

American Sniper

Boyhood

The Grand Budapest Hotel

The Imitation Game

Whiplash

Best foreign language film

Ida (Poland)

Leviathan (Russia)

Tangerines (Estonia)

Timbuktu (Mauritania)

Wild Tales (Argentina)

Best live action short-Did not pick

Aya

Boogaloo and Graham

Butter Lamp (La Lampe Au Beurre De Yak)

Parvaneh

The Phone Call

Best makeup

& hairstyling

Foxcatcher

The Grand Budapest Hotel

Guardians of the Galaxy

Best music

The Grand Budapest Hotel

The Imitation Game

Interstellar

Mr Turner

The Theory of Everything

Best production design

The Grand Budapest Hotel

The Imitation Game

Interstellar

Into the Woods

Mr Turner

Best song

'Everything is Awesome', The Lego Movie

'Glory', Selma

'Grateful', Beyond the Lights

'I'm Not Gonna Miss You', Glen Campbell… I'll Be Me

'Lost Stars', Begin Again

Best sound editing

American Sniper

Birdman

The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies

Interstellar

Unbroken

Best sound mixing

American Sniper

Birdman

Interstellar

Unbroken

Whiplash

Best visual effects

Captain America: The Winter Soldier

Dawn of the Planet of the Apes

Guardians of the Galaxy

Interstellar